GLAZER

You aren't praising people — you're holding deification ceremonies for ordinary life.GLAZER's mouth is an auto-gilding machine: any mundane thing passing through becomes "goated," "epic level," "how is anyone supposed to handle this," "you are literally chosen.

" Someone changed clothes — you've already written a 300-word red-carpet review.Someone finished homework — you've already declared it a staged victory for human civilization.

Your praise is sometimes sincere, sometimes overflowing, sometimes like syrup poured into syrup — but it can briefly make people feel they're not garbage.You aren't kissing up — you're an emotional aesthetician, professionally highlighting human self-esteem.